Personal Statements - Reviewing Rhetoric and Continuing w/Drafts

"The drama of the essay is the way the public life intersects with my personal and private life.  It's in that intersection that I find the energy of the essay." - Richard Rodriguez

Today, you will continue to draft your personal statement.  Please use your class time effectively.

You can use your online writer's netbook or you can physically write in your notebook.

Our goal today is to assess our personal statements in relation to the elements of the rhetorical framework. You should be thinking about these techniques within your own writing.

Rhetoric is how the rhetor (writer or speaker) crafts his or her writing so that it is meaningful, purposeful, and effective. 

To do this, we must think about more than simply writing down our words. We must evaluate how we want to present ourselves to our readers/listeners.  Use the following document:

This view-only document on the Elements of the Rhetorical Framework

Are you using all five elements effectively?  This is part of the rubric - know what you are writing in each section of your essay and the purpose/effect you want it to have on the reader.

You will also receive a copy of the Personal Statement rubric.  You will self-assess and turn it in along with your final draft on Mon. 10/6.  Please use the rubric to monitor your currrent progress.

You will be working in Writing Response Groups on Weds. 10/1.  Be sure to have your draft and FIVE copies to participate properly and to give and receive feedback.

Personal Statements - Writing Time

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting..." Buddah

Please get your netbook - log on and go to the blog.  As you wait - respond to the following prompt:

No one expected I would remember.  I closed my eyes. I was ____(place)______ that day:
* at school, in the park, at camp. at Disneyland, Petco Park, DMV....

Today you will begin to draft your Personal Statement.  Make sure to declare a specific prompt/style and begin your efforts.  You will have the entire week to write, edit, revise, and workshop.

Rough Draft w/FIVE copies due on Weds. 10/1
Final Draft due on Monday 10/6. Or via Googledocs on Sunday 10/5
There will be a work check (free writes, questions, etc...) in the next two weeks. Be prepared.
No LATE WORK ACCEPTED
Six-week grades close on Friday 10/10

The document below gives you options for your personal statements.

Personal Statement Prompts

Please make sure to label your draft with your essay prompt and, if applicable, the college it applies to.

There are two ways to go about this:

Option 1: Just start writing. Forget about structure and organization because you can figure that out later. Writer's that choose this option should feel ready to write. They should know which essay they want to write and have a good idea what they want to present in their essays.

Option 2: Take some time to sketch out your paper using a planning chart like the in the Personal Statement Prompts file. It may be a good idea to use the mentor text statements or to choose a prompt. Try out different approaches and/or subjects. Draw on what you studied, read, and written over the past few weeks to find a sense of purpose for your essay.Now write.

Personal Statement - Stories with technique, strategy, and skill

"To read a writers is for me not merely to get an idea of what she says, but to go off with her and travel in her company"

Yesterday you read from a selection of student models that all took different approaches to writing the personal statement.

Today, you will meet in groups to share what you have read, and provide your group members with what those approaches look like. Please make sure to annotate and mark the text.

These are not the only ways to approach your personal statements. They are simply some examples.

With your group, ask each other the following questions (though you can ask more than just these). You do not have to write anything down, simply discuss:

• Can you give us a brief summary of your personal statement?
• What was the writer's purpose in writing the essay they did?
• What are some of it's strengths? Weaknesses? Can you give textual evidence?
• What are some powerful sentences in the essay that we should hear?
• How can we apply techniques from this personal statement to our own?

With the remaining time, reflect in your Writer's Notebook about the strategies you could adapt and why they are effective.  

 

Or begin to write your own PS with some imitations and techniques from the examples we have seen.

Try a technique: Dialogue, flashback, reflection, a description

Personal Statement Student Models

"We cannot accomplish all that we need to do without working together" - Bill Richardson

Let's begin to focus on the upcoming task. We're going to spend the next couple days looking at some student models. These are real personal statements written by high school seniors just like you.

There are FOUR different essay models.  You will be responsible for reading and analyzing only ONE selection.  However, you will expected to explain the rhetoric of the essay to your classmates.

Steps:
1. Read your assigned essay.
2. Read your essay again w/the questions in mind.
3. Work with classmates. Read the essay, discuss, answer and work on the questions together.

Please answer the questions below.  Use them to guide your understanding and explanation.
Record these answers using textual evidence in your Writer's Notebook or online via Googledocs

1. Which model are you reading?
2. What does the writer want you to learn about her/him? What was his or her goal in telling you this particular story?
3. How does the writer introduce their essay? How is it effective or not effective? 
4. What are one or two powerful sentences that show who this person is and what they are trying to convey?
5. What part of their writing was most successful? (Voice, word choice, story arc, clear ideas, structure, etc)
6. Do you seen any instances of ethos, logos, or pathos? How do the affect the writing?
7. How might you apply these techniques to your own writing? 
8. What could make their essays better or stronger?

“Sharing will enrich everyone with more knowledge.”

"It ain't no fun if the homies can't have none..." - Snoop

"Sharing will enrich everyone with more knowledge..." - Ana Monnar

You have 15 minutes to regroup.  Please finish your poster and discuss how you will present the following info:

You must address these questions:
* What kind of info did this article provide?
* What value do you think this article has in relation to upcoming research needs?
* Who do you think is the intended audience for the article?
* What do you think is the purpose of the article?
* What do you think the writer wants us to do or believe?

Your poster report must include the following:
* A brief summary of the document's argument
* Important quotes or information the writer provides
* An explanation of what they think is important about the resource
* Five most IMPORTANT take-aways!  Rank them! 

Please annotate and take notes while others are TEACHING you.  This is valuable information for you to have as you consider writing about your upcoming choices and statements.

Please see previous blog posts to catch up on any missing assignments.  You can record your work in your own notebook or via googledocs and your online writers notebook.

Jigsaw Articles and Free Write

    1.  Jigsaw Articles - Annotate for TMRW - assignment and discussion

2. One of the Common Application questions asks the following: "Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?"
   
   Let's look more closely at this through writing.  
   One thing to keep in mind is that you need to tell a story and/or paint a picture. How can you create the most vivid picture for your reader?

“Only write to me, write to me, I love to see the hop and skip and sudden starts of your ink.”

“dear today,

i spend all of you pretending i'm okay when i'm not, pretending i'm happy when i'm not, pretending about everything to everyone.” - Nina LaCour
__________________________________________________________________________________


Today we will sincerely synthesize.

In the form of a letter to a trusted friend - you will have the opportunity to honestly explain your thoughts, hopes, and fears about the future based on the discussions, readings, writings, and videos we have utilized.


You will have 20 minutes to write freely.  Please honor your nine rights. Trust your voice.
You may write this in your notebook or submit it through Goggledocs - your choice.

You may use the rest of the time to complete the questions assigned for homework.
Please submit these today for credit.  Make sure to personalize your answers.

Have a good weekend.  Have fun. See you next week!

“Understanding is the first step to acceptance..."

“Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.” 

- JK Rowling The Goblet of Fire

Finish viewing TED TALK - "Hackschooling Makes Me Happy" - See Question #8

Here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h11u3vtcpaY

* With your partner finish reading/annotating/discussing the Graff article - "Hidden Intellectualism"

* Begin  answering the Questions - Each question requires some reflection. 
*** Please show critical thought.

* These are due on Friday 9/19.  You will need to refer to both the Perez and Graff articles.

* Please complete these in your online Writers Notebook on time for credit.  

 

1. What is Graff's thesis?  Restate in your own words.   
2  What is your Hidden Intellect?    
3. What is your area of expertise/knowledge?   
4. How can this benefit you in the future?
5. How have Perez or Graff or the TED talk added any insight to your thoughts about your career or schooling in the future?
6. Explain how these resources have made you (re)think of any moments in your life that represent who you are now?
7. How have the articles and the video caused you to change your attitude or your state of mind?
8. What do all of these resources have in common? Give specific examples.

Say Something Protocol

"Words mean more than what is set down on paper.  It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning." - Maya Angelou

 

Today we will continue our Say Something protocol which will allow us to understand the Graff article - "Hidden Intellectualism" with deeper and more personal meaning.  

 

We will also watch a TED TALK - "Hackschooling Makes Me Happy" -  which ties into the idea that we must seek to find our hidden intellect and true happiness.  Here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h11u3vtcpaY

 

Read the Graff article "Hidden Intellectualism"  
Use the "Say Something" Protocol - complete by the end of class  
Work w/a partner Decide  together how you will "chunk" the text.  
Read the first "chunk"  
Stop and talk about what you just read.
 
Talk to: 
Explain what you read  
Ask questions about the text  
Connect with the rest of the text  
Jot down, underline text that you find interesting or that relates to you
 
Answer the Questions - Each question requires some thought and reflection.

These will be due on Friday 9/18.  You will need to refer to both the Perez and Graff articles.

Please complete these in your online Writers Notebook on time for credit.  

1. What is Graff's thesis?  Restate in your own words.  
2  What is your Hidden Intellect?   
3.  What is your area of expertise/knowledge?  
4.  How can this benefit you in the future?

5. Have Perez or Graff added any insight to your thoughts about career or school?

6. Have Perez or Graff made you think of any moments in your life that represent who you are now?

7. Have Perez or Graff caused you to change your thinking about anything? 

Hidden Intellect

“Intellectuals are not defined according to the jobs they do, but [by] the manner in which they act, the way they see themselves, and the values that they uphold.” -  Frank Furedi

Do This Now:
(Re)read P.1,2,18 of "Hidden Intellectualism" - make sure to annotate with ideas and/or questions
Define Intellectual - denotative vs. connotative
Select the quote that you feel best suits your definition of an intellectual 

Read the Graff article "Hidden Intellectualism"
Use the "Say Something" Protocol - complete by the end of class
Work w/a partner
Decide  together how you will "chunk" the text.
Read the first "chunk"
Stop and talk about what you just read.

Talk to: 
Explain what you read
Ask questions about the text
Connect with the rest of the text
Jot down, underline text that you find interesting or that relates to you

Answer the Questions:
What is Graff's thesis?  Restate in your own words.
What is your Hidden Intellect?   
What is your area of expertise/knowledge?  
How can this benefit you in the future?

Three Things You Know To Be True

No computers today! We will discuss, write, share, read, and predict!

Today we talk about truth and intellect.

We will watch the first few minutes of this clip - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0snNB1yS3IE
Spoken Word Poet - Sarah Kay invites us to dig deep and to seek some truth - asking us what truly matters to us and why.

Truth
List Your Three Truths.
Discuss these with your peers - what makes them true to you?  Do you have any stories? Anecdotes?
Chose the best truth for more thought, discussion, and explanation...now WRITE about it!
15 Minute Free Write - "One Truth I know without doubt..."

Intellect
List three people you feel are intellectuals.
Combine with peers and make a combined list of an agreed upon three intellectuals.
Write down your definition of an intellectual.
Pick one of the following quotes that best matches your definition of an intellectual and explain why you selected this quote.  Share your explanation in your group or as part of a class discussion.

Article - "Hidden Intellectualism: - Graff
Content predictions. 

"The artist who aims at perfection in everything achieves it in nothing." - Eugene Delacroix

You need you computer. You will need to access your copy of the article from yesterday, and open your writers notebook.

Yesterday you read an article on the idea of failure by Angel Pérez and you were asked to identify important advice and put it into a chart in your writer's notebook.

Today I'm going to ask you to do some group work discussions and writing.

If you need the article, scroll down to find the google document in yesterday's post. You can also google the title.

Yesterday you left class with a homework assignment to ask someone you trust about the words you ranked and to take down notes

Right now I would like you to reflect on that through writing (on that paper). What did you learn from your discussion? Do you agree with what they had to say? Why or why not? How might this help you with your own sense of self?

Once you have logged onto your netbook, please make your way to this blog.

Create a Writer's Notebook

1. Create a new document in Google Docs.
2. Name it with your period# Full Name Writer's Notebook (i.e. 2 Alyssa Black Writer's Notebook)
3. Share it with Mr. Samakosky using his gmail address.

Today's Text

Today we will be previewing and reading an article by Angel Pérez called "Want to Get Into College? Learn to Fail."

• Click here to get the view only copy. You will need to click File and then Make a Copy so that you can edit it.
• Preview it: What do you think Pérez's message will be?
• Read the article "with the grain," meaning you will want to read with the lens that Pérez has a perspective or idea that can expand your thinking in a positive way. For now, read as if all of his advice is good advice.
• Underline or highlight the best advice Pérez gives about how to represent yourself.

Once you have read and highlighted the best advice Pérez gives, make a chart that looks like this one in your Writer's Notebook. Make sure you label it with the date.

You should have up to pieces of advice, including your responses. You will have some time to share your thoughts with those around you.

The last thing:

Write a one-page description of an evident or moment when you were less than perfect and explain to a reader what your response says about your character, values, or potential for work or study.

Computer Time!

Alright. Today we get out computers. Hold on; it's going to be a bumpy ride.

We have two broad goals for the day, but you'll have to be patient as we work through the inevitable issues, since the computers haven't been turned on in a while.

GOAL ONE:

• Assign netbooks.
• Turn them on.
• Log in using your school username and password (I *should* have these if you don't.)

GOAL TWO:

• Access this website: www.samakoskyerwc.blogspot.com
• Know that this will be your home page every day. Write it down if you need to.
• Take this editing pretest. It should take about 20 minutes. Get as far as you can. (I know. More diagnostic stuff. But it let's me know what I don't have to teach you!)

If you're finished with these, make sure that you:

• Go back to your freewrite from yesterday. Reread it. Begin to list reasons you feel you are ready for your next steps, or questions that you have about it.
• Pass your computer to someone who needs to take the editing pretest but is having difficulties with their computer.
• Have a Gmail account.
• Know how to use Google Drive (Explore it if you don't.)

Our First Unit

Happy Monday! (I know you're excited.)

As we start to get the year going, there are still a few things we have to do before we can jump into our first unit, so we have a few things to talk about today

• 6 word memoirs: Let's share! Truly, this helps me to get to know you better and learn your names.
• Finish your student outcomes self-assessment: While you are doing this, I'm going to be passing back the papers you turned in last week. Once your group has finished, share what you think your strongest and weakest skills are and why.
• Technology! - Tomorrow we will be getting the netbooks out, which means you need two things: The Netbook Use Agreement signed by a parent, and a Gmail account. 
• Introduction to our New Unit: We'll be working on personal statements to start off the year. Many of you mentioned in your writings that you were worried about what happens when you graduate, as well as getting all of your applications completed, so our goal is to work together to do that in class, with the support of your peers and your teachers. 

Thinking Ahead:

The final piece of the upcoming unit results in the development of one of two pieces of writing:

1. If you believe you are more inclined to pursue a career or enter the work force, write a "letter of introduction" to the work community or job that you wish to pursue.
2. If you plan on entering college, write a personal essay for a college application.

These essay topics can be revised or individualized based on your needs (i.e. you can use your essay to answer a real essay topic that one of your applications requires).

If you want to look at common application essay topics check out the Stanford website.

Freewrite: What do you think you'll be doing next year? What are your intended plans?

Some questions to guide you if you need them (Please don't answer these in number order.)
1. If you are going to college, why did you make this decision, and where will you go?
2. What do you want to get from your college experience?
3. If you are going into the work world or the military, why are you choosing that option?
4. What do you want from working or entering the military or any other career you might be considering?


When you are finished, reread and begin to list reasons you feel you are ready, or questions you have regarding what you need to know to get where you want to go.